Friday, December 19, 2014

"You're a(n) [happy/angry] person."

I've been called both an angry person and happy person. As the years have gone by, I've become really good at keeping the anger at bay... But I wonder, can you be a happy person while allowing yourself to care about things and actually acknowledge what goes on in the world? I feel like the only way I can be consistently happy is if I look the other way and emotionally shut myself off from caring about things, which is what I've been doing. But if, for one second, I allow myself to care about things, I become angry or sad again. There's so much that isn't right. It's like I'm part of the evil if I look away, but I'm absolutely miserable if I care. To be selfishly happy, without a care in the world? Or to selflessly fight injustice, in anger, sadness, and danger? Ugh. How do others manage?

Thursday, December 4, 2014

The only kinds of men I want in my life:

The only kinds of men I want in my life: 
- HIM, the one, the only one, we all know who he is.
- Family.
- Friends that are either gay or  
madly in love with their wives/girlfriends,
that have ZERO sexual/romantic interest in me.


So leave me alone, all other guys that don't fit these categories.


I am an artist, first and foremost.

My life has always been and will always be committed to art and music.

I am an artist, first and foremost.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Love + Relationships: Passion, Fire, & Excitement

"Passion" doesn't matter to me in a relationship. What matters to me is how much I like you as a person, how much I respect and admire who you are and what you do, how much I want you to be a part of my life, and vice versa. 

 Boy, I've had quite a few of those "passionate" relationships, and they were all filled with such irrational stupidity, dishonesty, power struggles, and game-playing that would ALWAYS swiftly blows up in your face. 

I've come to realize that all of that "fire" and "excitement" is just a masked temporary remedy for, or distraction from, your boredom, loneliness, and/or lack of direction/progress in life, and, most of all, very likely the fact that you both probably really don't like each other very much at all as people. 

Believe me, I know conflict is exciting. But #love between two people isn't supposed to be a war against each other, with an emerging victor. Love is not a violent, flaming heat. It's a soft, heartful, human warmth. It's understanding and being understood, cherishing and being cherished for who you really are, and it's a two way street. It's not viciously fighting to have someone who is obviously wrong for you change their core self to conform to your own ideals of a romantic partner. The only person you're loving in that kind of situation is yourself, at the expense of the other living, breathing, hoping, feeling person. 

Yeah, I want none of the bullshit anymore. Kthxbye.

true blue

I will never ever approach and falsely befriend someone for 
my own self-interest and selfish benefit. Never have, never will.

No thanks, pessimists + wrongdoers. No thanks.

I know I can sometimes be angry, judgmental, and cynical, but I do not like those qualities in other people. (Or myself.) I like being around those that laugh, smile, do good, seize the day, chase opportunity, and look on the bright side. I don't want any bitter, complaining, excuse-making pessimists or wrongdoers dragging me down when I have a hard enough time staying afloat on my own. 

 I like people who remind me why life is good and worth it. People who, like me, believe in #goodness, #romance, #magic, and #love. 

So no, I don't like snarky, and I don't like sarcastic. I don't like jealous, hopeless resentment. I don't want to hear you spout your negative opinions, proud declarations of bad things you've done, or your whining about how life isn't fair to you, as though your action/inaction have nothing to do with what and where you are now. 

Nearly all the things I complain about are directly related to how most people don't love or expect enough from themselves, or hold themselves to any respectful or respectable standard... Y'know, the world could be so much better if everyone would just love and #believe in themselves. That's all that I want for everyone. The world could be so much more wonderful.