Friday, August 22, 2014

So much to do before I go!

I just can't live life like a lot of other people do. There's so much to do, so much to say, create, and share, and so little time to do it all. If I spend an entire day creating nothing or doing nothing noteworthy or interesting, I just want to kill myself. I can't just sit around, chill, and shoot the shit with some people, and let that eat up big chunks of my time. My life can be over at any moment. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO BEFORE I GO!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I can do anything!

I'll be on my way to accomplishing that 'til the day I die.

Living. And not.

If committing suicide is selfish, then don't you think having a kid is even more so? I mean, considering how you, yourself, already know what living in this world is. Choosing to subject an intelligent, emotional being to it all... And for what? It's for you. What you want, or in the name of your beliefs. You. Honestly, even if I love you, if you really, truly want to leave, that's okay with me. Nobody really chooses to be born into this world. I respect everyone's decision to continue living or not. I would just hope that the decision is made after much thought and consideration, and not on a whim.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Thinkers

I miss having people to share a few drinks with, along with real, philosophical, existential conversation. I'm tired of people immediately dismissing any question or thought of depth, or acknowledgment of reality as "weird", "negative", or a buzzkill. I'm not saying let's focus on ugly, bad things because I don't want to do that either. But don't people want to think and talk about more than what happened at parties past, their relationship problems, gossip, and all things (strictly) trivial?


I want people that want to explore and discuss minds, ideas, and the world. Not people who are so afraid to even begin thinking about those things. I want people that, if not eager to jump right into it all, try to at least be okay dipping their toes in uncharted territory and the unknown.

It's funny because the people I can get really dark and real with are usually the people I can get the silliest and have the most fun with. I guess with the open acknowledgement of the darkness that dwells within one another, comes the true connection of two people -- as the whole, authentic person they each are -- and, consequentially, happy, fun times shared are much more meaningful and satisfying, deep down.

I have a few of these special people back home. Perhaps it's finally time for a visit?

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Do it for love.

I've met way too many people here that are chasing a pay off in the arts. I know we all have realities to deal with, but whose heart is actually in the art? So many people claim to truly love doing things like music, acting, and film-making, but don't even try to find a way to do them, if it means doing them for free or for little -- or, heaven forbid, actually having to put in the money, time, and hard work themselves. People only wanting to do the things they "love" in a situation that is completely and conveniently furnished for them... Yeah. Sure. That love is true.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Music Over Everything


I forgot for a moment why I chose music over everything else. With music, I can incorporate everything; singing, dance, writing, visual art, photography, film, fashion, performance, and more. Music is the most powerful. Forgetful me.

I also forgot that I do everything for the love of it.
Not for some pay-off. Remember, Michelle.
Always remember.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

"hot girl"

I could very well be a "hot girl" if I wanted to. But why the fk would I ever want that? I'd rather perplex and turn people on, mentally. Even if it means turning them off in their nether regions. And a lot of the time, it does. Lmao. But if, by the teensiest chance, they're my kind of people, they will be turned on there too. Hahahahahahhaha.